From HERO to BUTTHOLE in 6 seconds flat

So it's like this....

Last night my fiance, sweetie pie, darling, dear was my hero for giving me his last two cigarettes when he went to bed. How loving and caring and thoughtful, right?? That's the image of him I went to sleep with. Then reality struck this morning and he quickly went from being my hero to being a butthole, and it only took him 6 seconds to do it. You see, he has 3 children, all girls, all little monster mongrels, and I love them dearly. But oh how love is such a fleeting thing when you've had no nicotene for the 4 hours you've been awake. Now here comes the buttholio part. I called him to let him know I was going to go get gas in my car and then head to the grocery store in 108 degree HEAT to get some dead animal fleshy products for him and his little carnivores to eat....and what does he tell me????? He bought a pack of cigarettes this morning and took them to work with him KNOWING full well I was out and me and the children were caged together in the house. So of course I haaaaad to let him know he was a nicotene hording child endangerer *laughing*. Not so needless to say, the children are still alive and I now have my smokes and they have meaty things to eat that do not require cooking and therefore generating even more heat because I think my sweat is sweating.